Advice for a Conscious Entrepreneur

Below is an e-mail I wrote to Tim Richards, the founder of the mission-driven sprouted almond butter company, The Philosopher's Stoneground in November of 2013.

I helped Tim launch the company in mid-2013, and the words of this note poured out of me late one night, inspired by all that was emanating forth from the ether. I learned a lot during this time, but most of all I felt like I was offered a more esoteric perspective of business, and the direction that I believe we all need to work towards. 

In honor of his Kiva Zip loan campaign, I decided to publish this. Richards has taken these words to heart, and hopes to integrate them in the most practical ways, which is much easier said than done.

It should be noted that I left the company five months later. I took a break from both the company and my relationship with Richards, that has subsequently caused us to forge a deeper connection to both. Aside from performing some clerical work for the company, I now serve on Richards' advisory board, offering psychological and spiritual guidance, as well as communication advice.



Tue, Nov 5, 2013 at 3:16 AM

I am lying awake, in that interesting space between dreams and reality, but probably more on the reality side. This space has me thinking quite a bit, about quite a bit of things. I turned off the light at probably 1:30, and I don't know what time it is now, but that is how long I've been thinking, allowing things to move around in my brain. I've purposely avoided the clock on my computer, and have hidden it from view in this moment so that I may exist in a kind of timelessness.

My life has been, for all intents and purposes, flashing before my eyes. I've woven in and out of memories, mostly from my adolescence, spurred from the story I told you earlier, but not just from that, I've been thinking a lot more about my adolescence recently, more memories are flooding, dreams during Motion Theater that brought me back to those times, and here I am kept awake by dozens of images from back then, snippets of experiences, people, feelings.

I realized that so much of it is coming up because some of my behavior, my addictive behavior has been similar to the way I was back then. And I am thinking so much of my experiences back then because there is a part of me now that acted as I did back then, and so I am reminded of those times.

And then something clicked and I began thinking about the present. It is seemingly disjointed, and I haven't been able to find a real large correlation yet, but I am seeing a vision around this business, around what we are doing and what is happening. I began to think about school and Motion Theater and what I am doing and if I should devote everything I have to this business or why I am spending any energy on these other things.

What is coming through very clearly to me in this moment is that I am doing these things because they were the pieces of my life that were set so strongly in motion before I met you, before this business started. They are the things that are shaping me, the things that I know to be truly what are shaping this sculpture. The sculpture of my life, of my offering of who I am and what my Purpose is. And Almond Butter came around and showed me that it too is another piece, another aspect of what is being wrought in this alchemical mix that we call Life.

And aren't we out to feed all Life with Intelligent Nourishment? It occurred to me Tim that I am here to play my part and do what I am meant to do. Each piece of my life is real and is good, true, and beautiful. I realized that these other things, the other things beside our business are what is holding me true to my Self. If I abandoned them for the business, I would be abandoning my Self and I cannot compromise what I know is true for me. I cannot waver in this and I cannot change the course my life has taken. I am listening. I am so humbled by the amount I am actually told! By the things that I hear when I listen. It is magical. And I continue to listen. And I continue to grow and to flourish.

And I reached another vision, a picture of business the way it exists now. The way that, if you want it to be successful, you need to spend 80 hours a week and lose yourself in the pursuit, and eat, sleep and dream the business until it makes it. Until it makes it big. The way business exists now, by playing by their rules, is that the business owns you. It owns you, by your consent. It is holding a whip and the key to your ball and chain, and it owns every part of you, and you will give it everything you have until it gets big enough to rule more than just you, but its entity is strong and decisive and persuasive. It becomes a force bigger than just you and it owns many of us. All the forces out there, that started as a small idea, they turned into giants that control us, that need us to comply with it in order for it to thrive. Apple, IBM, Google, the Davis Food Co-op. It doesn't matter. Look around at any of those places and they are ultimately a power that controls its people in subservience to a system that keeps powerful people powerful.

When coffee shop revolutionaries sit around in masturbatory discourse going on and on about faceless corporations being behind all the bad stuff, all the atrocities, there is a kind of truth to it, just not in the way that they think. A true force of Ignorance that is in control of this planet is the complicit energetic slavery we give away freely to the entity that is the corporation. The big black soul that feeds on the energy we willingly give it. And it is killing us, it is killing the animals, and it is killing the earth. It is no wonder people can't figure out how to stop it, how to reverse it. Our economy is founded on these principles.

You and I Tim, we have an opportunity. We have an opportunity to change that, to see beyond that and devote our energy, our souls even, to an entity that is pure, that is true, that is beautiful. It exists at the root of all corporate entities, I believe, but it is reciprocal. If genuine, loving, pure, and devotees to the Divine are pouring their Divine Guidance into its center, than it will reciprocate.

Most of that came through as I wrote it to you, but here is the headline, the main title, the big she-bang that came through as I was trying to find sleep.

Don't let this business consume you. If you let it, it will eat you and turn you into its slave. We have birthed this entity in the paradigm where businesses eat people alive every second of every day, and then they are slaves. This business has the potential to do that. This entity could easily bind your wrists and throw away the key. It will tempt you. It will wave shiny things in front of you and trick you. Do not let it get the best of you. Do not lose yourself in the pursuit of this business or you will fall and it will take a long time to realize what happened to pick up the pieces. I know this is really intense and perhaps difficult to hear, and potentially insulting.

Let me be more specific. When Aubrey told us to find our spiritual practice, our devotion outside of the business, this is what he was talking about. The business cannot be our spiritual practice. It cannot because business is so very rarely a spiritual practice, and especially not in this paradigm. It cannot be a spiritual practice while it relies on the U.S. dollar. This is what Aubrey meant by a Trojan horse: this dollar will slither its way into your center and eat you from the inside out. Find your spiritual practice. Devote 10% of your waking life to it. At least.

I am choosing to spend more of my waking life to mine. In this moment, school, Motion Theater, and my journey with Kirsten are my spiritual practices, that are separate from the business. These things do take my energy away from the business, and they are designed to do that. This is how I will maintain my composure, my center, and my Divine alignment through this experience. And there is a reason I did not found this company, nor brought it where it is today. The company is where it is today because of your ingenuity, because of your beautiful mind, because of your utter and complete devotion to it. Your Vision, my dearest friend, is so pure, and so aligned, that our business has the potential to move mountains. To change the way this world conceives business. We have the potential to shatter the ideas of how a corporation functions in this society. It is not too late, otherwise I would not be writing this e-mail to you. I would have just left the company, and not looked back.

My point here is that I see it crucial that you find something, or you ask The Mother to provide you with something, that takes at least 10% of your waking life that is separate from the business, and you commit yourself to that. Forget about how the business will be affected or anything your mind can think of what is being left behind or how the business is lacking or could be better if you were doing this or that. In fact, try not to interpret any of this with your mind. Take this in and meditate with it. Be in it with your whole being and see if, in the way I can experience your vision, you can experience mine. I am accessing the next level of commerce here. The next level of where human beings must go if they are to survive. This is my manifesto, this is my offering to our business, to our mission, to our vision. This, is Almondia.

I trust in you. I trust our venture. In our baby. We don't have to lose our lives to make it happen. It can grow, slowly, in its own time. Yes, we have to listen to the business, but we don't have to do everything it says all at once. We don't even have to do everything it says, ever, if we don't want. I will reiterate though that I do trust this entity, and am willing to devote every ounce of energy I have available for it, and in this I trust that it will guide us exactly where we need to go, as it already has. I am just saying that we have choice. Forget about what Aubrey or any other entrepreneur consultant will tell you about how to succeed, about how you have to devote 80 hours a week or you will fail. No one knows how this will succeed because it is unprecedented. Trust that, and trust that even if you take 10% of your life to do something else, it will continue to thrive.

The other day when you came up with the community food hub idea, you said something like, "this is what happens when I actually get to spend time visioning" or something like that. I believe that the business will only get exponentially better if you are taking this time to do things away from it. Perspective is so important, and so is being centered. Neither one of which will happen unless you take that time for yourself.

I know this is long but I am just opening the channels and allowing myself to express whatever needs to be expressed. I think the last piece that is coming through looks like this:

I am done feeling guilty because I am taking time to devote myself to my other commitments. I am done feeling stressed and overwhelmed because of the perception that I am betraying you, or betraying the business because I am doing these other things. I am done feeling like I am not good enough to be in this business or to be your best friend because I spend time doing something else. I will not feel these things anymore. I am going to show up, proudly, in every area of my life as fully as I can and with as much energy and presence I can muster in that moment. I am not perfect. I will make mistakes. I will make choices that will not serve you or the company, and I might come to regret some of them. This company will succeed, regardless of my input or presence. This company is exactly where it should be because we are both living our lives and following our intuitions, and I will not feel diminished or put down by imagining how much better the company would be if I was in it more fully.

None of the above is intended to point fingers or put responsibility on anyone other than myself. They are statements of what will change based on what I have experienced, and I take full responsibility for my experience. I am the creator of my life, the manifestor of my reality, and these statements are declarations as much to myself as they are for you. This is how things are going to be for me, from here on out.

I love you, Tim. You mean quite a lot to me, and you represent so many different things to me. You remind me so much of my boyhood best friend, and that comes with a myriad of interpersonal dynamics. You are here as a reflection and as a guide for me into adulthood. You are helping me to become a man and understand how the world works by inviting me on your very manly and adult adventure. This is a good thing. I am committed to you, and I want you to understand just how monumental that is. I don't think people really understand what commitments are these days. This commitment my dear friend, this is a soul commitment. Our souls met up one day and signed a fucking contract to do something important together. To do something real and powerful, to change the earth.

I hope that this is not overwhelming, and I hope that you are able to receive it with love and understanding in your heart. I am here to discuss any and all of it with you, whether it be in concurrence or disapproval, I am present with you, and also surrendered to any outcome. I have to be.

Let's do this thing.

In humbled gratitude,
Your soul brother,
Jesse

The Devil Within

The following is the final post I made for the class Literature for a Living Planet, led by Becca Deysach. It was a beautifully enriching class, with so many powerful readings and discussions.

This post was written in response to Deysach's prompts:

So, we have spent the past three months reading and discussing a range of literature, writing our own, and reflecting upon the process in our journals... all with the purpose of investigating the role that literature can play in encouraging a cultural shift towards a paradigm that supports a "living planet". 

So here, I ask you... what role, if any, CAN literature play in humans' relationship with the earth?  What influence has literature had on YOUR relationship with the wild earth? And, if literature does have a role to play in healthifying our relationship with the planet, where do you see yourself in that process? And if there is anything else you would like to share in regard to your learnings this semester, this is the place to do so!
I believed in the critical role that literature and all creativity plays in supporting a living planet already, but it has been evermore reinforced for me throughout this class.

I have such a soft spot for incredible writing, and it generally serves as a portal for me for deep healing. I am wont to get emotional and moved reading inspirational writing, witnessing powerful writing on the screen, or in the co-creative space of conversation. I often talk about how particular TV shows and movies act as a Bible for me, I'm always able to glean deep truths from them. Sometimes I get the impression that even the writers of the show don't realize the Divine Truth flowing through them.

I just finished the first season of Daredevil, Marvel's newest release. I blew through all 13 episodes in just a few days, and it is the most shining example of what I'm talking about. Yes, it is a super hero story. Yes, it is extremely violent. But the writing is SO INCREDIBLE. There are so many overarching themes of morality and human struggle, so many powerful questions come up, and impeccable production quality, directing, and acting to boot.

I am so taken by it because it frames the struggle we all currently face in harsh, real terms. The story serves as both a literal interpretation of corporate power and the 1%, but also serves as a beautiful metaphor of us all facing our demons, and learning how to live with the "devil within."
To tie this back to our work in this semester, I feel like as we continue to participate in the destructive patterns of our paradigm, we all struggle with the devil within. We have this devil clawing its way out of us, addiction and apathy are its symptoms. It's okay that there is a devil within, we all have our shadows. Daredevil is all about Matt Murdock's journey in facing his devil, and transforming it into a powerful symbol, his fall from grace and wrestling with his anger, and what his anger might do. He sees injustice and gets angry, and plows through the bad guys with his fists, and yet that isn't enough. He is on the brink of becoming a murderer, a line he knows he shouldn't cross. He learns how to reframe it and deal with those injustices with ingenuity, creating other angles where before there were none.

Through the whole season he struggles being just a man in a mask, unable to figure out his role and how to affect the change he wishes to see. In the end he figures out how to stop those who perpetuate violence and suffering in a way that does not destroy him in the process. He raises the devil within and transforms it into unadulterated purpose and action, and becomes Daredevil, a symbol of hope for his community. He embodies the change he wishes to see in the world, and doesn't compromise his values. In the end he transforms from a man hiding behind his mask into Daredevil, the savior of people. It's really quite beautiful, and I highly recommend it. It is all streaming on Netflix, who produced the show as a "Netflix original."

I go into all this detail here because this is the most recent example of literature of a living planet, for me. It doesn't directly address ecology or the earth, but it addresses the very real and tangible struggle we all face. I face these issues through a social justice lens, as opposed to the land-based healing lens. I want to work with people and more diligently understand internal emotional processes, and so Daredevil does a perfect job of this for me.

Stories help us to digest the circumstances of our life. Metaphor has the ability to fit neatly to our unique perceptions and either tear them down, or validate them. Or both. It is a way for us to zoom out and perceive our life from a witnessing poise, a way to look at our life without being so wrapped up in it. These various forms of literature help me to zoom out. It's almost like we put on glasses that allow us to see through the lens of the author, allow us to look into our life through their perspective. It helps to discolor our perception and gain some objectivity about who we are and what we are doing here.

Powerful stuff. Thank you for listening!

Finding the Stage

Finding a Stage:

Creating Spaces for Action

Jesse Hindman

Prescott College

Spring 2015

It is some time around eleven o’clock, though the exact time eludes me. I’ve taken one too many drags off of a joint, feeling consumed by its effects. My body feels heavy, weighed down, and I find myself unable to stave off the convulsions of anxiety. My body and mind are overwhelmed – haunted – by the overarching questions of the era in which I live. 

Questions like: 

“How can I do my part to shift the destructive patterns of my society?” 

“What am I doing to contribute to these patterns?”

“Will we make it out of the ecological crises alive?”

And…

“What is my true purpose in this life?

These questions haunt me from within, but are also mirrored all around me, as I feel immobilized on the brown couch; I sit watching, listening to other seekers in discussion, standing before me while they elucidate their own answers to these difficult questions. My new-found friends Jeremiah Youngtree and Region Lewis are animated as they discuss their view of the world and their place in it. Due to the nature of my reality-bending experience, I am unable to completely follow their train of thought; their words slip through my grasp even as they are spoken. I feel a spectator, locked in my seat, witnessing the discussion unfolding; I am not a part of it. They cite grand philosophical gestures of the way the world is.

We are just outside of San Diego at the Jungle Palace, the old family house of a nursery, surrounded by hundreds of palm tree starts. The life flourishing around us is mirrored in the passionate discussion before me, creativity abounding. Two days ago, we banded together in our common pilgrimage to the Sheraton Hotel in San Diego to attend the second annual Permaculture Voices conference (PV2), and there is already more than enough fodder generated by the conference to bring rich discussion to this living room.

I feel inadequate as the discussion unfolds; I’ve smoked too much weed. There is tension within me; I know I have a lot to offer, and yet I am paralyzed. I cannot speak, self-doubt and worry drench my thoughts, disallowing me from generating the confidence needed to participate. There are strong, screaming voices within telling me that I have nothing to contribute, that I do not deserve the space to speak.

The voices overcome me.

I am literally shaking, anxiety crawling up my throat, constricting my words. The things my fellow truth-seekers are saying are so beautiful, and I am just beyond reach -- their only audience -- in the back row, viewing their glorious stage from obscurity.

Finally Jeremiah addresses some things that strike a chord; he begins to discuss the importance of acknowledging the grief that each human has for the destruction of the planet, begins to talk about creating contexts in which to feel this grief in order to understand more fully what it means to take action anyway. I already know well what he is saying: he articulates words I often speak; there is resonance, this is my chance!

I watch myself present my thoughts to Jeremiah, all the while my voices continue on inside of me juxtaposed: self-doubt and self-actualization happening simultaneously. Here is a tension between the two, my articulation generating forth as a result. The process reveals the true nature of my voices, showing the forces within me that would keep me silent, keep me obscured, disconnected.

I keep allowing the torrent to flow, the words I speak different than my internal reflections. All the times I’ve felt powerless come to mind, the times I’ve felt unable to participate in the movements I perceive to be worthwhile. My mind and my spoken words continue to be separate, different.

While attending PV2, I watched in awe as speakers climbed atop their stage—the stage that was set for them—to frame an activist’s plight in palatable terms. I took in the audience around me that traveled so far to be inspired, to engage, and ultimately develop ways they can actively participate.

As I sat in the audience of various keynotes throughout the conference, I took in the words being spoken and imagined what it means to find my own stage. I have attended a good deal of conferences and shows where I see incredibly inspirational speakers stand atop their stage, and yearn to have that opportunity myself.

Even though I know better, I fool myself into thinking it is easy for these people to manifest their stage, to manifest an audience on the edge of their seats. But of course these amazing speakers have done (and continue to do) a lot in their lives to gain the attention and the followers required for the stage to be set.

 

I haven't found my stage... yet.

I want a real stage in which to share and inspire, but also want to develop the stage within, to operate and share with confidence. Finding my stage also means finding my place in the world, my function, a way to participate that feels aligned and engaging. I’ve lost my sense of self, and I avoid the pain. I have all the pieces, all the proverbial scrap wood, nails and tools to build my stage, but every time I try to lay out the blueprint, I get stuck.

I smoke pot and watch T.V.

 In the living room with Jeremiah, all of this coalesces within me. All of it condensed into my stoned processing, happening just behind the scenes as I articulate. I feel inclined to push past the “coffee shop revolutionary” phase and into one of real action. I am passionate about the food system in the United States, and its flaws. I am passionate about our economy and its inherent destructive principles. I see the flaws and yet I still participate in them, still wrapped up in the capitalist conditioning, trapped in a system that clearly no longer serves.

How do I come into loving acceptance of myself and my circumstances?

The THC continues to pulse through my veins, I’m cold. I wrap my hoodie closer to me, and continue to shake. I feel a special kind of paranoia, constricting my chest and incarcerating my spirit, while simultaneously the words I speak banish the disease of addiction, thrust me into who I’m meant to be. My intuition tells me there are ways of finding joy even in the darkest depths of an identity disenfranchised.

Where is the joy?

Jeremiah’s eyes light up; I read his body language; his heart opens.

How can I connect to it despite all the suffering of the earth and its inhabitants?

I stand, move closer, into more intimacy as our discussion unfolds.

How do I find joy without avoiding the pain?

We embrace, his long red hair pushed against my cheek.

How do I honor and acknowledge the pain while finding beauty?

We silently recognize the depth of wisdom in each of us.

I am being pushed through a threshold, the split between my immature, adolescent self, and the adult I’m becoming. As I turn 29 in a week, I reflect on this last year of depression. It has been an initiatory process, a rite of passage. I have overcome adversity enough in my life to understand its function, to know how it shapes me, how important it is. The stagnancy, the inertia pushes away from me, my life unfolds in the Great Turning. I am no longer a boy, and yet I am not quite a man. The tension pulls at me between these two spaces, the threshold pushing down on my crown just as my mother’s cervix did all those years ago. I feel the cool air on the other side, waiting for me to take my first breath.

I am discovering what it means for me to become a man.

The friends and speakers I met at the conference show me the way through this threshold by showing up in authenticity. They engage in conversation with me, they stand atop their stage orating powerfully. Their messages are rife with self-actualization, concrete action steps, and open-source ideas. They share what they share not just to inspire, but in hopes that other people will build upon what they have already constructed.

I may be lost but that loss proves my path.

My loss brings clarity, defines the contours, and illuminates the stones. I can see the prints of small animals etched in the dirt, a canopy of ferns, oak, and redwood towering above me.

I belong with these people, sharing, loving, laughing and connecting. This is where I thrive, this is my stage, it has been set all along; it's here beneath me, myopia preventing me from truly seeing. My stage is in the mingling with other powerful souls, deep in their process and responsible for their own healing.

The dark voices within still won’t cease, they tell me that I don't belong here, they are so powerful. I have no idea from where they come but they are so strong, so convincing. When I connect with the soul tribe—deeply compassionate and caring people—the voices are silenced, rendered obsolete.

Jeremiah and I embrace in the dimly-lit living room.

Our connection saves me.

Our hug disproves my self-doubt, calms my worrying mind. We let go, separate. He tells me my words resonate with his own journey, his own mission. He matches my passionate words with equally powerful statements, expressing a desire to work with me. He literally offers a stage, a way to articulate my philosophy, to begin the process of learning to inspire and educate a crowd. He has two projects already in mind. I am in motion.

The Permaculture Voices speakers go up and say the same thing they say to their wives, husbands, children, their colleagues, their students; they speak about their life and how they live it. It is not disconnected or theoretical. They offer concrete evidence of their work. Those I most admire – those that are a part of the true calling – teach not high on a pedestal but amongst their listeners. They teach and they listen.

I've been waiting too long for my turn to speak, I haven't been listening. I've found my stage but am working on learning how to stand on it, to respect the responsibility of being offered that space. I'm learning how to be impeccable with my words, not to waste anyone's time.

When I gather with fellow activists, I feel as if I am coming home. I am interacting with family, like there is a powerful recognition that I belong. This recognition is the key to our survival as both individuals and as a species: it is identifying soul-tribe. We gather with our tribe to draw strength, to love, and to support one another.

Each of us has the ability to create our own stage, and to formulate our performance atop it. We are all authors of this life, writing the literature of a living planet: the literature that lives within; the wisdom that stirs in the deepest, wildest parts of our selves; the literature of song, dance, poetry; the prose of a kiss for a lover; the pirouette in a gesture of gratitude; the thesis of a speaker on top of his stage; the iambic pentameter of a woman with a paintbrush.

My work is to inspire others to pick up the pen, and the mic. As I face my darkest fears, as I reconcile the parts of myself that don’t serve, I can still create beauty. I choose to show up, however I look. I choose to show up, even when I can’t stand. I will crawl up, and lie atop my stage if I have to. I commit to the living world, to the metamorphosis, I commit to the universal force, the propulsion of energy into the great, living planet.

My Journey in Permaculture

My Journey in Permaculture

Jesse Hindman

Prescott College

Spring 2015

In the beginning of March 2015, my friend Tim Richards and I traveled down to San Diego to attend the Permaculture Voices conference (PV2), a convergence of truth-seekers from all over the world to learn, grow, and share with one another. There were a series of talks and workshops throughout the conference surrounding the various facets of Permaculture, whose ethics and principles help people make critical decisions in any number of situations/projects.

This particular conference focused mostly on land-based projects and their design tools, though Permaculture can be applied in any number of different arenas. Throughout the conference I felt as if Permaculture is a movement, as it attracted so many different people, and inspired us all to take direct and immediate action. Everyone was abuzz with various philosophies, practices, and projects, all centered around Permaculture.

That said however, there are leading voices in the study of Permaculture that help to define it in simpler terms, and would argue that it is not, in fact, a movement at all. To this end, it behooves me to cite a very articulate view of Permaculture by a man named Toby Hemenway (2012). In his blog, Pattern Literacy, he elucidates “what Permaculture isn’t—and is.” He says first that “Permaculture is notoriously hard to define. A recent survey shows that people simultaneously believe it is a design approach, a philosophy, a movement, and a set of practices.” (para 1)

Hemenway (2012) goes on to say “that the most accurate and least muddled way to think of Permaculture is as a design approach, and that we are often misdirected by the fact that it fits into a larger philosophy and movement which it supports. But it is not that philosophy or movement. It is a design approach for realizing a new paradigm.” (para 1)

Despite Hemenway’s (2012) contrary comment, I sense it as a movement insofar as it lends to the creation of a new paradigm. I’ve noticed that people I’ve met who define themselves as “Permaculturists” are first and foremost committed to innovation. They are fueled by the desire to create and implement solutions in innovative ways that make the destructive paradigm obsolete. When people get together and discuss how Permaculture—especially in its principles and design systems—can help to shift this paradigm, it feels like Permaculture itself attracts these people to it. Perhaps “movement” is a dirty word to many, with so many activist movements proving to be futile, or less-than-realized (e.g., the Occupy movement).

Generally if I meet someone who is doing something they call “Permaculture,” I immediately feel a sense of alignment and connection with them. I’ve been able to make certain assumptions about the person’s values based solely on their application of Permaculture principles. However, due to Permaculture’s vague and amorphous definition, it is worth mentioning that there are incredible projects that for all intents and purposes are using Permaculture design but would never actually use the term. (Bayuk, personal communication, 2015)

One of the more interesting points that was brought to my attention during the conference (forgive me, I forget who exactly said it) is that there is a need to decentralize "Permaculture" as a term and instead bring its essence to communities/projects that would otherwise not sign up for a "Permaculture" event. Its tenets and essence are extremely important, but just as important is dissuading individuals from getting caught up in the label or the identification that has the risk of exclusivity. I felt this idea was reinforced by showing up to a conference of 660 people, with demographics showing somewhere around 70% men, and 85% white. This lack of diversity is telling.

In other words, Permaculture is a tool, a system of designs that allow us to find the simplest, most straightforward solutions to very complex problems. As a belief structure, it stands up on its own, but should be recognized as but just a stepping stone on the path away from the current paradigm, and not necessarily the new paradigm. In other words, it is a transitional force that will eventually lead us to a place where Permaculture as a label becomes obsolete. Kevin Bayuk (2015) told me once that there is an opinion shared in his circles that the goal is not to need Permaculture at all, that its ethics –"Earth care, people care, and return of surplus" – are principles so normalized that the label Permaculture no longer has use or meaning. Bayuk (2015) goes on to say: “I see Permaculture as a system that helps people design - helps them make choices or create choices when trying to address particular problems/conditions.”

In some respects Permaculture shows up in my life as a religion, a way for me to relate to the world through its lens, with the support of other followers that share the same beliefs. I acknowledge that "religion" is a charged word, and I mean no disrespect to Permaculture or its followers in its use here. From the Latin roots re + ligare, means to re - connect or re – unite. This is my experience of Permaculture so far, and why I see religious implications; it is serving the same function as religion for me at this time in my life, a way for me to find a community of like-minded individuals who have dedicated themselves to its core tenets. I am finding others who believe in, and have faith in this way of living.

In response to this sentiment, Bayuk (2015) responded by saying, “this is a common experience of people that learn about permaculture.  The need for values-aligned community is self-evident.  The ‘ethics’ in Permaculture are explicit and create an ‘opt-in’ to sharing values.  People that practice Permaculture design, de facto, are adhering to the ethical boundaries of Permaculture.”

This certainly conveys an important aspect to Permaculture, and one that I think is an overall motivator for those who choose to adhere to its principles: the ethics are explicit. They clearly define the boundaries in which we are to operate, and nothing is left unseen or unsaid.

My experience of Permaculture as a religion and movement is reinforced by seeing such an outpouring of people from all over converge into one place; it feels a lot like communion. This in essence was a congregation, with preachers and teachers alike, illuminating those who feel the call. It seems we are setting out to abolish the injustices of our current systems, which I believe is the core founding principle for any religion; religion is founded when there is unrest, and fills a need to band people together in common purpose. The need for a shift comes at both the individual level, as well as the collective.

Permaculture's plasticity allows it to be applied in any number of ways, and should be taken on at an individual level, applying it in whatever unique way presents itself. There is work to be done and it shouldn't always be attached to any one label, least of all "Permaculture." Because it is so amorphous this should be an invitation to use its tools and apply them where there is need. I fear that there are groups of people who perceive Permaculture as something wealthy white men practice. I raised this perception to Bayuk (2015), to which he responded, “Undoubtedly this is the case, and also typical of an observation of someone that is living in the affluent world.  As one of my teachers, Geoff Lawton, told me, ‘I've done permaculture design with communities around the world including Iraq, Sarajevo, Vietnam, Nicaragua, El Salvador and more and I am relieved to say that where permaculture is spreading the fastest is in places of dire need, and almost nobody calls it Permaculture. Nobody gives a damn what it is called.’” I was pleased to hear this perspective, and also feel inspired to move away from the Permaculture label, despite how dear it is to me.

I, along with many others, was somewhat disappointed in the lack of diversity at PV2, in attendees, speakers, as well as subject matter. Land-based approaches to Permaculture are ingenious and much needed right now of course, but it dominated this particular conference in a way that left me feeling a lack. I felt that there needs to be more integration of social justice discussions.

This is the space with which I identify most. I believe that my role in the grand scheme of things is one focused on people and commerce. Based upon my studies, the two are inexorably linked. The works of Jeanine Canty and Joanna Macy come to mind. Their work is in diligently acknowledging the very real grief we all feel as the earth is slowly being destroyed. The argument of course is that we are the earth, and that as our bodies are destroyed, it is painful. It causes anger, grief, and apathy. Conferences – be they focused on Permaculture or otherwise –  have the ability create powerful spaces to process this collective earth-grief, and to employ our talents to the psyches of our brothers and sisters on this planet earth.

That said, this is where the notion of Permaculture as religion shines the most for me. We are being asked to do our work to make a positive change, but this work is all for naught until we can identify the wounds we carry not just for the earth but for our families, our partners, and our own personal biographies. These wounds, I would argue, are what keep us disconnected from the earth in the first place. These wounds are what cause us to act out in pain, in struggle, in addiction, in violence, in violation. We are violating ourselves and the earth when we let these emotional traumas go unchecked, but we've lost a context where we can both literally and figuratively be held in those wounds. We don't have communities with cohesion, communities that are so connected one has no choice but to congregate with their neighbors to process their grief.

Permaculture Voices offered a place for us to connect as well as to learn, and yet there were little formalized spaces offered by the conference for emotional process. One exception to this was in what the organization Mycelium offered to the conference. Mycelium is “a learning community: a living network of people committed to activating their fullest potential and creating solutions to the challenges and opportunities of our times.” At PV2, they provided educational integration activities between keynotes. This was an important way to mingle and provide a context for further support, but I still want to see this kind of offering developed more intentionally: I want to see conferences create more offerings to help people get intimate and vulnerable. We need to forge and strengthen the bonds of this community in a way that develops lifelong support and trust. We can't all be warriors all the time! We need space to cry, to laugh, and to engage in meaningful ways with one another.

I was blessed to have been given this experience as a result of this convergence, and have a lot of gratitude for being given the opportunity to identify and connect with key people that impact my life in beautiful ways. I think it is a natural progression when people of like minds get together, but I want to acknowledge that we could be doing way more to support these kinds of connections.

In conclusion it is important to say that no matter where you look, there is no one perfect movement, organization, or conference. There were many things done right at PV2, and I'm excited to see what happens when people put their heads together. We need to consistently do more and better, and I'm delighted to see what Diego Footer has created with his sheer force of will. I'm looking forward to witnessing what he continues to create with his vision.

Bibliography

T Hemenway. (2012, November 28). What Permaculture Isn’t—and Is [Web log post]. Retrieved from http://www.patternliteracy.com/668-what-permaculture-isnt-and-is

Bayuk, K. Lecture, personal communication. March 2015.