Below is the synthesizing essay I wrote as a graduation requirement for Prescott College. As I complete my undergraduate degree, I found powerful movement in reflecting and synthesizing all I have learned, and how to apply it to the real world. This essay is just one small part of this synthesis.
Synthesizing Essay
Jesse Hindman
Prescott College
Spring 2015
I have come to realize a few
things after entering into the Adult Degree Program (ADP) at Prescott College.
Namely, I view this as a huge step in my personal development. I want to be
able to extend myself out into the world in order to help others in their
healing journey. However, it has come to light through my Prescott attendance
to date that there are still particular goals I have yet to achieve in regard
to my personal development before I can show up in the world in that way. I
believe that an unwavering integrity and stability of the Self must be achieved
before a healing presence can exist externally. This I feel has been the theme central
to my focused area of study.
I chose to create my own degree
title in the hopes of more accurately describing the application of my studies,
in order to properly define the framework of my learning. I chose the title
“Integral Dynamics” to define a field that integrates social and ecological
justice with spirituality, interpersonal dynamics, and human development.
Through the course of this study, I have come to the conclusion that no outward
activism can be healthy or effective without some level of personal inquiry.
The following paragraphs are from
my senior thesis to sum up this concept:
“A world comprised of consciously
refined individuals will engender harmonious relationships with self, other,
environment and planet. An inclination to serve the collective will naturally
arise if communities are developed by individuals who fortify their own
Inner-church: the internal resource from which one can turn to find solace,
wisdom and compassion.
"When one operates
from the power of their Inner-church – and not from a wounded place – they can
connect to the innate awareness of interconnection present in us all, thus
effortlessly serving both individual and community. A person who connects to
their Inner-church creates an internal space to feel grief, and simultaneously
engender the compassion required to be present for others.”
I chose to present
these paragraphs as a way to define what I believe to be the core tenets of Integral Dynamics. The study of this
theory has been a teaching for me to consider the whole in every interaction in
order to more deeply understand not only what fuels my actions, but what fuels
the actions of another as well. Ultimately this means being hyper-perceptive,
and a willingness to listen. This includes the consideration of an individual’s
socio-economic status, gender identity, race, and other cultural diversities
from my own. Taking these things into consideration honors an individual’s
place and operation in the world, and helps me take a widened approach to the
dynamics created in our interaction.
Applying the
theories of Integral Dynamics is an integration of a personal practice as well
as a professional one. Practicing serves and informs both: I would argue that
there is little separation between how individuals show up professionally and
personally. This discovery played a huge role in leading me to investigate the
nature of our economy and business. I believe that the current controlling
economic system is the number one cause to the destruction of our planet.
I first made this
correlation during the Ecological Economics course I took with Rob Hunt in the
Fall of 2013 – which just so happened to coincide with the height of my
involvement with the sprouted almond butter company I helped to start. I went
on to take two Permaculture Business Design courses, Ecopsychology, and a
Sustainable Environmental Studies course. All of these helped to inform
critical perspectives of our economy. When I integrated my already prominent
knowledge of interpersonal dynamics and spiritual work with these perspectives
of economy, I launched full-force into the deconstruction of the current
paradigm, and have been seeking actions to do my part in rectifying it.
When I say that Integral
Dynamics is a practice, I mean to say that it in itself is a dynamic
undertaking that often illuminates my own “blind spots.” By taking several
human development courses with Prescott, I have been able to deconstruct my
privilege as a man, for example, or as a white person.
In my study, I have
come to understand that the field of healing requires practitioners to understand
their own limitations. Within the context of facilitation, humility is one of
the major requirements to perform adequate service to participants. If I walk
into that room believing that I carry no baggage with me, that I am above
getting triggered or reactive, I am automatically doing a disservice to that
room. I have a responsibility as a leader to keep myself in check, but more
often than not intimacy cannot be developed without a codified level of
transparency. This I believe is at the heart of the matter, and one that has
been established fruitfully in the course of my study.
Furthermore, perceiving
Integral Dynamics as a practice is of utmost importance. It is a perspective
that offers a practitioner the ability to simultaneously witness all aspects of
self, while also considering that of others, and in every dynamic interplay,
integrating the whole. We do this so that harmony is created with every
interaction, even when there is a difference in opinion or need.
These concepts are
based largely on the works of Joanna Macy, Sobonfu Somé, Christopher Alexander,
and Jeanine Canty, with the encouragement, direction, and insight of both Gary
Stogsdill, my core faculty for Prescott and instructor, and Becca Deysach, my
instructor of four separate courses in my undergraduate degree program.
The fact that
Prescott requires social justice and ecological literacy components really
served me in shaping this type of work in the world. My studies at Prescott are
serving as a launch pad, the prerequisite for enacting my life’s purpose.
Throughout my
program, I have learned about myself spiritually and intellectually as much as
I have learned about the world around me, supporting humility throughout. I
have seen my education unfolding in two parts: learning the aforementioned
integrity and stability within the self first, and then extending outward in
order to help guide others with their own path to health. My work, I’ve
discovered, lies with people. The more I can heal, the better prepared I am to
offer assistance in showing others how to reveal their own truths.
I chose to pursue a
program with self-directed learning because I've always struggled in
traditional academic channels. I fundamentally disagree with many of the tenets
of my country's educational paradigm. While I believe in intellectual pursuit,
academia divorced from experiential learning is a folly. There is so much more
to life than what the intellect can explain, and thus my hunger for an
experiential-based learning was born. I feel grateful that Prescott has a
program that was aligned with my own educational goals; the result of which has
been far more rewarding than I could have ever hoped.
Furthermore,
the social and ecological justice requirements at Prescott have ignited a sense
of purpose and determination within me. The immersion of these concepts
throughout my time with this school has provided me invaluable tools.
Though my offering is
still becoming clear, I can see that I want to provide assistance to businesses
and individuals to become more literate within these realms. I have already
used my learning to inform actions in food justice circles, and in helping start
a mission-driven sprouted almond butter company.
I also recognize my
own limitations within the self-directed learning platform. I have always
struggled with motivation and time management. This has been by-and-large the
greatest challenge I have faced throughout my degree. I knew this going in, and
forced myself to enroll in order to stay firmly planted on my edge. I would say
that my Prescott experience has been invaluable in transforming my ability to
self-direct.
The year before I enrolled
in ADP, I went through a process of deep spiritual awakening. It became evident
how rapidly I was shifting my beliefs, behaviors, patterns, addictions and
worldview. Everything looked different. I was, for the first time in my life,
seeing things clearly. I felt organized in my spiritual pursuit. The steps were
laid out before me.
When I applied to
Prescott, I was scared. There was fear around going to school again, and that
is why I applied anyway. I knew that I had to continually face my edge, to
never become lulled into comfortable complacency again. I believe that
everything that has happened to me until this point makes me who I am; the corollary
being a recognition that there is always the choice for radical shifts when
necessary. The past never changes, but my relationship to it does.
It is through this
inquiry that I see higher education's place: to grow, and to enrich. Every
course has held some kind of relevance to my life outside of school. Every
assignment struck some kind of cord in my personal process: school offered
larger perspectives to my life, perspectives I would not have otherwise
discovered. My instructors always provided me with evocative resources offering
me myriad perspectives in order to form my own. School brought on more
spiritual development. School brought me closer to the earth, and closer to
myself. I feel fortunate to report that school and life have never been
separate.
The visionaries behind
all of my course materials are now responsible for shaping what I believe to be
my work in the world: transformational healing; ushering business out of the
old destructive economy and into a new regenerative one; sacred connection to
grief; experiencing all sides of life, even the most uncomfortable; and finally
shifting personal and collective paradigms to include the practice of Integral
Dynamics.
My studies at
Prescott have taken me through incredible workshops. They have taken me into
deep conversation with myself, my peers, and my mentors. My studies have taken
me into business. They have forced me to consider my privilege, my faults, my
desires, my skills, my intelligence, my place, my footprint, and my emotions.
I started a company (an
already intense and difficult undertaking) and subsequently left it (more
difficult, still); I struggled and overcame my lack of self-motivation time and
time again; I did freewriting staring out over the Big Sur cliffs at Esalen; I
facilitated group discussions; I danced, and danced and danced; I learned how
to play; I learned the value in self-directed learning.
All this and more
are things I learned before and throughout Prescott, and what I will continue
to learn beyond. I believe that Prescott accelerated these processes for me. I
had the benefit of condensing these studies into concentrated focus, and had an
incredible team of people to help administer this potent dose of higher
learning.
