On Bill Plotkin's "Nature and the Human Soul"

To me, the book Nature and the Human Soul goes so far beyond the discussion of our detrimental relationship to the planet Earth; Plotkin takes a dive right into what is most important: soul connection. I appreciate that he does not meander too far into the overly-romanticized version of the “soul” that pervades popular culture. Instead, he seems to have a greater sense of what a soul really is. Plotkin defines the soul as “a thing’s ultimate place in the world. I use the word ‘thing’ to embrace the fact that every thing has a particular place in the world and therefore has a soul – all creatures, objects, events, and relationships.” (p. 30)

To me, this indicates that instead of a soul being a part of a person’s individual personality, essence, or otherwise superficial defining factors, I interpret this definition as a “thing’s” portal into the interconnectedness of life. If soul connects us to place, and place connects us to the whole, then the process of connecting to the soul is what connects us to everything.

This also suggests an inherent sense of belonging. That if one is connected to her soul it means she is also connected to place, and ultimately feels that she belongs to a greater community. Conversely, if one is not connected to soul, there is a sense of isolation and alienation. I personally relate deeply to this; I have recently come to realize that I have a deep, unconscious sense that I do not belong, or that somehow I am not worthy of belonging.

Plotkin then relates this concept to the development of individuals, as well as the development of our species as a whole. There is a section where Plotkin is describing the emergence of a new paradigm: “three of the most likely indicators of a new emerging human paradigm are… features found in neither the contemporary western human (yet) nor the traditional indigenous human.” (p. 18)

One of these indicators is what he refers to as “Universal visionary capacity. For most of human history, the highest development of visionary skill was limited to a few exceptional individuals in each community (shamans, prophets, visionaries, and so on). Now this capacity of deep imagination must be cultivated by all adults if we are to create sustainable cultures.” (p. 18)

This is directly related to the concept I formulated for my senior thesis for Prescott College: the inner-church. In my thesis I presented research and described how each individual person is starting to wake up to their own capacity to turn inward and find the entire support system of a church, for example, wholly from within. In communities since the dawn of time there have been particular roles fulfilled to gather and offer wisdom (such as Plotkin describes, with shamans, prophets, etc.) my thesis claims that there is now a shift in consciousness enough to allow people to wake up to their own intuition and soul’s purpose, enough to gather that kind of wisdom from within, instead of relying upon traditional roles to fill it. 

I strongly believe that this is a determining factor for the survival of our species. This is not to say that these traditional roles aren’t working, it just means relying upon these roles for support is simply not enough anymore. The human race needs to start turning deeply inward for answers, relying less upon external influences.

Many of these traditional roles have since become disenfranchised anyway. They’ve slowly become more and more superficial, surrendering to things such as greed, lust, power, and so on, instead of higher levels of consciousness, compassion, and love. And even when people enacting those roles are made available, a great number of people in this society turn away from those resources to find solace with myriad addictions and perhaps most prominently with consumerism – an ultimately tawdry source of fulfillment. 

We are now in a time where we are all being held accountable for our own actions. There can no longer be an external God, ruler, law or judge that will dictate the terms of our life’s involvement. Each individual is now responsible for his or her own healing, and it is time for people to wake up to the truth of themselves. This is a critical notion that is becoming ever-more evident as I witness the emergence of myriad movements that aspire to elevate consciousness. More are conceived every day. 

It does not mean that the individual does not receive help or has to do it alone. It simply means that people are now tasked to develop their own intuition enough to understand their unique function in the greater whole, which also comes with the wisdom to ask for help when it is needed. It is a tenuous balance to learn: how and when to support oneself, and when it is necessary to reach out. It is an incredibly important skill. This leads to another theme that struck me in this book: rites of passage. 

"By signaling to the community that an individual has made a significant life transition, the rite serves as a tacit reminder for everyone to support this person during the initial weeks and months of his new status, which can feel like a disorienting interlude of psychospiritual homelessness. This social support can make all the difference for a successful launch into a new stage. In these ways, the rite has great value for both the individual and the community." (p. 65)

This is extremely relevant to my experiences of rites of passage work: I have personally felt the “disorienting psychospiritual homelessness” after a rite, as he describes. I felt layers upon layers of my anger, sadness, and pain fall away, and subsequently waking up after such an ordeal left me confused for a time. Ultimately however, the result of such a process provided me with the ability to listen to my intuition, to generate aspirations and be guided in my Soul Journey. 

I believe the crux of Plotkin’s work relates to what he defines as the Wheel of Life. Each chapter of the book defines each of the 8 developmental stages for a human being, and how many people in Western society never go beyond the later stages of adolescence. The stages of the Wheel are: the Innocent in the Nest (early childhood), the Explorer in the Garden (middle childhood), the Thespian at the Oasis (early adolescence), the Wanderer in the Cocoon (late adolescence), the Soul Apprentice at the Wellspring (early adulthood), the Artisan in the Wild Orchard (late adulthood), the Master in the Grove of Elders (early elderhood), and finally the Sage in the Mountain Cave (or late elderhood).

I personally feel as if I am hovering somewhere between stage 4 and 5, between late adolescence and early adulthood. The qualities Plotkin outlines on page 61 show that those experiencing late adolescence are given the task of leaving “home” (he indicates that “home” really means the adolescent identity) and “exploring the mysteries.” The task then in stage 5 (early adulthood) is “learning delivery systems for embodying soul in culture,” with the “gift of visionary action and inspiration.”

As of late I have been feeling the tension of these two developmental stages pull me in opposite directions. Not that the qualities of these stages are opposite, only that as I cross this threshold I am feeling emotionally, energetically, and spiritually stretched between these two stages. 

I am certainly in the process of learning the delivery systems for embodying soul in culture, but I also have moments of feeling a deep sense of failure. As I learn about these delivery systems I yearn to enact them, to put them into righteous action… and then I feel inadequate. It’s as if I do not have the wherewithal to put my ideas into practical, concrete actions. Even before I read this book, I intuitively felt this stage of development. I sense failure when I believe that I am still deeply adolescent, that I am unable to release my adolescence to clear a path for my adulthood. 

It helps to hear Plotkin say that the majority of people in our society never quite graduate from the late adolescent stage: 

“In industrial growth society we have for centuries minimized, suppressed, or entirely ignored the nature task in the first three stages of human development, infancy through early adolescence. This results in an adolescence so out of sync with nature that most people never mature further.

“Arrested personal growth serves industrial ‘growth.’ By suppressing the nature dimension of human development (through educational systems, social values, advertising, nature-eclipsing vocations and pastimes, city and suburb design, denatured medical and psychological practices, and other means), industrial growth society engenders an immature citizenry unable to imagine a life beyond consumerism and soul-suppressing jobs.” (p. 5)

So, I know that I am maturing beyond what is described in that last sentence. I know that I am getting a glance of what lies beyond the immaturity that pervades our world. But what is needed to shift me into the next phase? What must I do in order to gain the momentum required for me to take action on the insights I develop every day? The practical application of my life’s visions seems to be my biggest obstacle.

The message that continues to pour through is to write. Write, no matter what! I believe that if anyone wants to find their soul's purpose, they need to start with being creative somehow. It is imperative to manifest vision in this way visually, concretely in front of him, his art representing his purpose first. First thought, then modeling, then manifesting.

Of Joy and Sorrow.

I'm going to start with what might surprise some of you: a quote from the newest X-men movie. It's called X-men: Days of Future Past, and the screenplay is written by Simon Kinberg.

"Young Charles Xavier: I’m not the man I was. I open my mind and it almost overwhelms me.

Old Charles Xavier: You’re afraid, and Cerebro knows it.
Young Charles: In all those voices…so much pain.

Old Charles: It’s not their pain you’re afraid of — it’s yours. And frightening as it can be their pain will make you stronger if you allow yourself to feel it. Embrace it. It will make you more powerful than you ever imagined. It’s the greatest gift we have that can bear pain without breaking, and it’s born from the most human power: Hope. Please Charles, we need you to hope again."

Xavier is a telepath and developed Cerebro as a way to amplify his abilities to connect to every human and mutant alike on the planet. This way he is able to search for and locate anyone he wishes, to help them; primarily the lost and confused "mutants" who cannot control their own abilities and can be potentially dangerous. Anyone catching the subtext?

In this story, Xavier has gone through quite an ordeal, and has found a way to suppress his abilities, so that he "can no longer hear the voices." This scene is after he stops suppressing his ability to "listen" and enters Cerebro for the first time in years, and he is overwhelmed by the amount of pain and suffering he sees, which really just mirrors his own pain.

My friend Fabio just posted this quote on Facebook as part of a larger discussion. I offer this now because I feel that everyone has the ability to "listen," but that some of us are more empathic than others. So often do I forget that I am able to connect deeply to the collective pain, and for this reason I am most grateful to Joanna Macy for honoring this ability and speaking directly to its pitfalls.

Today I am in an interesting space where I feel the various forces within me combating, vying for my attention, demanding action. Some of the forces within me is the Ignorance I think, the place where most of us want to hide. 

It is hard not to judge myself for hiding. I try to do as Xavier did and suppress my abilities with various addictions, try to keep myself from feeling the full range of my capacity. I am choosing to suppress the ability because it feels too painful to open myself up to the world's suffering. The thing is though that there isn't just suffering on this planet. It isn't JUST suffering, there is also so much beauty. 

I will borrow yet another movie quote:

"I guess i could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... and then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold onto it. And then it flows through me like rain, and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment in my stupid little life."

This is the last line to American Beauty, written by Alan Ball. The quote gets me every time, because it is almost the same experience as with the collective pain: to let in all the beauty is also really scary, and can be just as overwhelming. The beauty follows the pain. When we feel our pain, we empty. It is allowing space within us, clearing out all that we've gathered in our daily lives. So much is gathered there, and we have to clear it in order to make room for something else. We clear the pain to make space for the beauty. For gratitude, for love, for compassion, for understanding. We suffer for a reason. The suffering creates the space, it makes the room for the beauty. 

Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the reassure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

This is from The Prophet by Khalil Gibran. I feel it conveys my point better than I could.
I believe that many people are so busy running from their pain that they then cannot fully experience joy. The pain resides just under the surface, and as Melissa Michaels says, we try to drink/smoke/eat/fuck the pain away, but it just splinters further downward, until we face it fully. Until we dance with it.

This is just what is surfacing for me in this moment. I know all that I've shared so intimately, but I must still be continually reminded of these concepts. As I shed tears this afternoon writing this, I am baffled by how I forget. I forget about the beauty, I forget how to deal with my pain. As I drink/smoke/eat/fuck the pain away, I forget how to resource myself. I forget how to emerge from isolation and come into love, acceptance, worthiness and community. I am a human struggling, and I am humbled.

Grief and Inspiration

Today I woke up with contradictory feelings: I feel somewhat lost and confused, and grieve the ways in which I am not true to myself.

Somehow I also feel inspired. I feel inspired to write, to sit down and formulate my thoughts. Is blogging narcissistic? Is it egotistical to keep a journal that other people can see? Will my output change because I know that others might see it at some point?

Recently I have been unraveling, mostly because I haven't been working. I have school assignments looming, but for whatever reason that isn't enough to get me moving (both literally and figuratively). I need work, and yet I feel a sense of unease whenever I think about jumping into just any job.

What am I really trying to say here? I am trying to ascertain the exact feeling I have, this feeling of complacency and incompleteness. I'm a man on a mission with no idea of how to execute his mission. I've decided the first place to start is to really sit down and start writing more. I need to just write, regardless of what comes out. I need to open my soul to the Divine Flow that is always there, always within reach. I so love all of Rumi's poems that talk about being the flute. The flute that opens up to be played. The Divine plays through me, sings its beautiful song. Somehow I've stopped allowing this flow to wash over me.

It's as if all this inspiration recently has welled up inside of me, but that I have no outlet for it. I still don't know what I'm really trying to say here. I'm trying to say that perhaps many people feel this lost. Maybe so many people out there have important things to say, but don't know how or where to say them. I have big ideas but have no idea how to go about implementing them. I don't want to just start a business and play the same game as all the other businesses. I just learned how to start a business in depth at JFK University, and yet I'm discovering that in order for me to really do that, it has to feel in the flow. I've been forcing so much recently, and haven't really found my groove. Where is my flow? Where has it gone?

Before this week, I had so many incredible synchronicities grace my flow. So many moments that felt easy, flowing, purposeful, and profound. It was like a breath of fresh air. I was able to move again, to feel connected, to feel like I matter. I suppose it really just comes down to self-love. I am able to love myself when I feel like I am in the Divine Flow, where I am creative and in the zone. And before that, I was just really angry. I was really angry on so many levels, and it was like poison. It poisoned my flow. I thought I had come out of it. I thought the synchronicities were pulling me out of that stagnant and stuck place, and yet I continue to exhibit behavior that suggests I'm struggling.

I'm truly convinced however that this behavior mostly comes from being underemployed. I have so much time on my hands that I feel useless. I woke up today with the thought that I am a useless bum. Where do these thoughts come from? How do I feel useful? Certainly not working a fucking desk job. So where do I find my inspiration? Where do I find the flow again? Like I said, I continue to feel incredibly inspired and yet it all bottles up and I have no idea how to get things moving. I long to collaborate with like-minded individuals. I long to join or create a group and get my ideas out there, get them moving.

Preface to the REAL First Post

Hi. I'm starting with a preface because well, let's face it: I'm verbose.

In my preface, I will start by saying that I've been continuously sharing all kinds of different posts of an activist and educational nature on Facebook recently, and have recently felt more committed to certain movements by supporting them on Facebook. It is important to share and expose as much information as possible that aligns with what one believes to be true. I have noticed recently however that while this is important, it feels incomplete somehow.

I just realized as I re-posted something that it is extremely helpful to post articles and videos that are relevant to my passions and beliefs, but that the part I'm missing is actually making a contribution. I'm letting all these other people write their articles, make their videos, and do their research, but I'm not really taking responsibility for my own voice in that conversation. I am letting other voices speak through me. Allowing others to speak through you is an important and laudable action as well, but I think my own voice needs be heard too.

Right now, with this first post I feel inspired to just spout off some opinions about my passions, and won't have citations right off the bat. At first I just want to say whatever is kicking around in my head first.

With this first real post, I am setting an intention to make this blog worthy of its namesake, Luminous Form, and make each character of my work help to illuminate those who read it as much as possible. I have no expectations for how many people will agree with my opinion. This is, you could say, a selfish endeavor. I just want to get all these thoughts out of my head and onto the page, and actually start to work on developing my opinion while also citing supporting arguments from other people. Through the process of writing in this blog. I intend to make my voice more substantial and efficacious by citing relevant research in order to support my opinions.

I will be treating this blog as a creative space for me to grow and learn, and hopefully inspire some deep conversation along the way. I feel I'm stunted in taking the time to research and educate myself on the issues that I'm most passionate. I rely on word-of-mouth to inform my opinions currently, and passionately regurgitate them to whoever will listen, without ever taking the time to verify if what I'm saying is based in reality.

I intend to make this blog a way for me to change that, and begin to step more fully as an actor on the world stage; aspiring to be a person who unfolds his mystery and manifests his vision.

So... here is the first post, which is as I've stated is an amalgamation of everything I've heard and formed opinions about, with no citations.